A Revelation from Little Aston Primary School

| November 16, 2009 | 1 Comment 

Little Aston Year 6 writing for the opening of Myst IV – Thank you to  Laura Hodgson and her class:

Useful Pickie 015Hi Tim,

I attach the writing that my Year 6s produced in the observed lesson I did. They did the writing on a Wiki library on our Learning Platform. The wiki meant they all contributed to one piece of writing, giving all the children ownership and pride in their work.

My children were SO thrilled with your email, it really gave the lesson the edge.

Thank you so much.

Kindest regards,
Laura

For some super descriptive writing…

Useful Pickie 014Amazed, dazzled, shocked, we flew over the rocks that were as huge as an elephant; strong as a tank; as smooth as paper and as overwhelming as a phoenix rising from the ashes!

It was like an entrance to a new world with a waterfall enclosed with giant boulders with the sun shining. As you entered it was a new beginning.   The rocks were as big as a skyscraper and they were crowding over me. I could taste the fresh air. The wind blew around the waterfall whistling in the openness. The sky was like the sea on a summer’s day, with a relaxed breeze now and then.

Useful Pickie 021The burnished waterfall was glowing in the bright sun.  The waterfall was as transparent as glass, crystal clear, as powerful as the wind and as dazzling as the sun.

It was an astonishing sight; I could hear the water gushing down it as it bashed against the rocks I felt like I was standing on the beach watching the wave’s crash against the cliff. The view was brilliant and the cart looked like it was going to fall off and it almost crashed! But the birds were resting on top of the cable as calm as a butterflies. It looked very rocky and felt very hot.

Useful Pickie 025There was a tonne of spray coming off the water fall.  The running, sparkling water was shimmering and icy. I could smell the heat and hear the waterfall. I could see the glittering sun in the sky and taste the salt in the water; I could feel the peace in the air as we flew towards the gate.

Their house was almost falling off the cliff; It was as rusty as a Victorian welding iron but made me think of home at least. It was set into the grey rocks I had seen on the way but even though it was crumbling It was the most welcoming sight I had seen so far in my journey from home.

Useful Pickie 029I met a sweet, calm, intelligent and kind girl. She had hazel skin and her hair was as brown as the bark off an oak tree. As talkative as a parrot, as lively as a gymnast and as lovely as a new born puppy. There was something mysterious behind all that sweetness…

She had a little locket on her and it seemed that it was really special to her. Her face was as pretty as a picture, with her blue eyes and her pretty smile, you couldn’t have compared her to anybody else. Her lips were as red as a rose and her smile was as pretty as the prettiest flower. She had a special locket and she wouldn’t let it go.

Useful Pickie 017She had special twinkling blue eyes which sparkled in the clear sun. Her voice sounded calm and highly familiar. She liked to help people explore and show them around.

The clothes that she wore where like roman clothes. Her face gleamed like the sun and her blue clear locket that hung firmly around her thin long neck.
Anxious, petrified, worried any second I was going to collapse out of the spherical cart then drown in the smooth but fierce waves. My insides had butterflies, my head was blank and my eyes had never experienced something as picturesque as that!

Useful Pickie 033I was sailing through a dimension no architect or voyager had ever seen before…then we jolted forward after stopping to see a jaw-dropping surroundings my heart stopped pumping.

Scared, terrified, petrified as I flew through the air with my feet dangling like they were going to hit the jagged razor-sharp rocks, tight spaces which you don’t know whether you will make it through alive all been driven by a 13 year old girl.

Brandished, golden, was I airborne?

Useful Pickie 022

I was flying in mid air with my feet dangling towards the ocean, gleaming with emerald greens and sapphire blues except the extraordinary shadows in the water weren’t that convincing.
I was terrified that the spherical travelator might either break or fall off the cord that holds the sphere up.

It felt as though she loved me and I was amazed that the scenery was rocky and the water fall twinkled in the sun.

Useful Pickie 030My heart felt like it stopped beating when she started going fast I felt as if I was over the moon, to see the water fall.

On the outside I looked a little scared (however, on the inside I felt like I was soaring through space.)
The carriage was rattling down the long beam above me I was scared that any moment now the beam will break. Then she said

“I’ll show you a place that you can take a photo of”.

Useful Pickie 034Suddenly the carriage stopped.

I thought that we were going to crash but I could see the most beautiful thing I had ever saw so I took a photo and as I put the camera away we went zooming off and soon we stopped on a floor and she ran out and said come on then she vanished through the big black dull door I was very lonely outside so I decided to go…

Useful Pickie 033I was extremely terrified that the sphere might crash into the rocks and I would plummet to the ground.  I was curious to see what the man wanted me for.

Amazed by the drop below, dreadful fear of falling in to the deep ocean waves. My heart pounding against my chest in horror, I felt like any second this travel carriage was going to fall in to my depths. I was as timorous as a nightmare. The quick carriage rattling and wobbling in the strong wind pushing my closer and closer to the edge. My life was flashing before my eyes. Travelling down the long metal wire, getting faster and faster, speed was a gigantic problem. Trying to smile but I know it was never going to happen. We weren’t slowing down, instead we were speeding up. Soaring through the dazzling sapphire sky, flying round all corners. Finally reaching their gloomy house.

The journey was thrilling I could just hear the water fluttering through my ears I could feel the encouragement of the rocks. I was a detective when I went to see the hole of the kingdom, my life changed before I knew it.

The travelator sailed through the brisk, bitter air. I kept a straight face (inside, however I was ready to explode with excitement!!!) I was intrigued to find out where I was going…  I was also scared in case something happened but I pushed them thoughts away.

Category: 1) Events and Training days

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  1. Awesome writing! You should all feel very proud of yourselves!

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