Following our Senior Roving Reporter’s account of her intrepid incursion of Planet Earth in quest of information on the outrageous theft of the magic flute of Giant Grimface, which is regarded as a national musical treasure by us all, we hear of an even more alarming discovery of great perfidy committed by this same earthman criminal in that it appears he managed to gain access to our most sacred inner sanctum, the Circle of the Secret Globes.
This “Mr. Ryelands” as he has chosen to name himself, though we believe this to be an alias, was encountered by our gracious Princess who, in her customary friendly and accepting nature, believed him to be about his lawful business.
Thus she introduced this interloper to our royal golden lizard and was not warned by the scuttling exit in alarm by this creature.
Encouraged by the warm interest of the visitor in the dazzling gem hung around her neck, she explained that it was a gift from her father, the King, thus revealing her identity, & trustingly beckoned him onwards.
Instead of following, the criminal turned on his heels and, with a gadget in his hand that is thought to be a Google-associated key of some sort disarmingly called a “mouse,” he clicked open the doors to our Innermost Retreat and proceeded to make a mental record of everything within. Noticing our Bureau of the Most Secret, it appears from later investigation that he actually opened the hidden drawer before being disturbed by the noise of approaching guards & making his getaway.
What is not yet known, and of great disquiet, is what he actually saw and recorded of our most revered items of national security and way of life.
This is “restricted” matter so that we are not able to report further upon what rested within the drawer. Be assured that, when this crime has been successfully resolved, our readers will be the first to be informed of the outcome. For the time being, there will be no further information.