Archive for April, 2016

Coming up ~ “Tools to Tell a Tale” at Oxford Brookes University Festival

| April 30, 2016 | 0 Comments 

“TOOLS TO TELL A TALE” Baldy-Locks-and-the-3-Hares-300x98

Improving reading and writing through tech      

Book online here!


NAPEA one-day course presented by three key gures in primary education: Pie Corbett, David Mitchell and Tim Rylands. in conjunction with NAPE.

“Be part of an evolving story alongside children from around the world, investigating a wondrous collection of digital and analog gems for bringing learning alive.

Join us, as we travel across dangerous terrain, through swamp-infested landscapes, and to the top of crumbling towers, all through the power of inventive technologies. Be a part of a live writing master-class, with children from Skye to Sydney, responding to this creative challenge.An intriguing, imaginative and exciting experience, for those joining the journey, leaving everyone with copious practical ideas, approaches and technical tools to take back and use in their own teaching, with children of all ages, and abilities.”

Delegates will:

  • discover a vast range of ways to use tech to enhance literacy
  • explore methods of engaging interest, and developing communication
  • be introduced to the power of blogging
  • experience a Coveritlive collaborative writing session
  • investigate shared writing in conjunction with powerful, accessible technology
  • be part of creating a story that travels around the world, and is built upon by children across the globe.

“This one-day workshop will help inject the creativity back into your classroom, mixing digital methods with traditional writing strategies, and will provide you with a host of practical and simple ideas to apply in your KS2 and KS3 literacy lessons. The talented trio have a proven impact on standards, achievement and enjoyment – making this day a must for any English teacher”.

Pie David and Tim

Tools to Tell a Tale Event with Pie Corbett, David Mitchell, Tim Rylands and Sarah Neild, Wednesday May 25th, Main Auditorium Hall, School of Education Harcourt Hill Campus Oxford OX2 9AT.

Book online here!

Alternatively, print booking your booking form, fill in and post with a cheque, or invoice details, from this link.

Gombinoscope & Monoface ~ Face Creators

| April 29, 2016 | 0 Comments 

Two of our favourite face generators: Gombinoscope and Monoface. Both could just be good fun, or, useful in art projects on the structure of the human visage. How about making characters for a whodunnit story? Watch it though: Monoface has a potential 759,375 combinations to try!

Nicer Tube ~ “A Nicer Way To Share YouTube Videos”

| April 24, 2016 | 0 Comments 

Cut out all of the “extras” around the edge of a film with NicerTube.

YouTube is a massive repository of useful ‘How-Tos’, advice, research gems, & more.

However good the films are, there are a lot of aspects around, and below, which are less than useful in an educational context. In many comments, people are often trying out their rude spellings!

Similar to QuietTube, which we blogged about here, and, NicerTube could be useful when you want all eyes to focus on useful content, rather than advertising, or inane comments.

No sign-up or registration required…takes only seconds!

Enter Any YouTube Video URL, select a background type, (a web page URL, solid colour, or fun design) then visit the URL that is generated.

For example, leads to “that video of Tim in the classroom”, but without all of the extraneous detail around the edge.

Quiet tube…

| April 16, 2016 | 0 Comments 

One of the problems I am sure you often encounter, as we do as we travel, is a huge, and sometime illogical, set of filters on online sites and resources. Sometimes strict filtering, whilst understandable on some levels, is also frustrating and doesn’t allow people to fulfill their professional duties.

I am not going to get on my hobbyhorse (again!) but I do think there is a lot of utterly inncouous but powerful material that can not be used in some regions (and yet is open in others) and Youtube is one of those repositories of valuable information which gets blocked. This is often not because of the films themselves. Rather, because of the comments that people make when they are often trying out their rude spellings!

You still have to exercise professional judgement as to whether or not content is suitable and valuable, but there are a few ways to display content that you know is appropriate to your pupils, even when it is held at bay in school. Here is just one:

Quietube is, as it says: “Video without the distractions”

To watch web videos without the comments and !@£$%^&, just drag the button (on the site) to your browser’s bookmarks bar. On any of the supported video pages, ( YouTube, BBC iPlayer, Viddler, and Vimeo) click the bookmark button to watch in peace.

You can then make short URLs too, to send the quietube version to others. Easy as 1, 2, shhhhh.
(You will have to create the Quietube link at home, and then go to that URL in school).

Here’s an example.Here’s a quick tutorial.
Here they are on Twitter.

You might have some trouble with a few uploaders who prohibit embedding, but it is well worth the try.

There are others (to follow) but Quietube really is simple & instant. Oooh! Look at all that lovely white space!

The Pickwick Learning Teaching School Alliance, Wiltshire ~ Day 2

| April 15, 2016 | 0 Comments 

Corsham Primay School

Following yesterday’s INSET for the Pickwick Learning Teaching School Alliance  today is a lessons day at Corsham Primary School. A morning with two Y5 classes and one Y2 class of pupils in the afternoon with teachers and TAs attending the sessions followed by an after school session with any staff who wish to come along and find out more about these sessions.. Many thanks again to James Passmore, Deputy Head of Corsham Primary, for coordinating today’s sessions.

It is always interesting, to mix writing, thinking, speaking, and listening, with movement. The use of physical actions to reinforce new concepts and terms can ensure that pupils retain knowledge for use in further activities at later dates. In fact, somebody once said they were quite surprised, when teaching a class about simile and metaphor after being involved in one of these sessions, that their class all started to strike poses and pull funny faces when reciting the terminology!

The strategies adhered to a social constructivist method of learning (I know! oooh er eh?!); we encouraged children to share as a class, in groups and with partners, channeling  their excitement and energy into expressive and focussed activities. Some improvised drama, where children took on spontaneous roles, immersing them in the world on “the screen” ~ although the screen is never referred to, ~ it becomes REAL. These on-the-spot performances were impressive to observe, unleashing come creative power without children being prepared by being given specific lines of dialogue.

After a good deal of discussion, the children wrote spontaneously, producing work of a high quality full of vivid imagery. They were also encouraged to refine their spoken language & clarify their ideas. Despite the length of the session, they remained on task and enthusiastic throughout.

Some superb writing, dramatic involvement and effort all round. Well done ALL!

In reality, you couldn’t do lesson sessions, like the ones we did today, without knowing EXACTLY what you want to achieve. The aim is to make it look, and feel, and genuinely BE a shared learning journey. Instead of showing that you knew you were going to ask the children to do, it can be a simple, yet incredibly effective step, to pretend you have just made the challenge up yourself.

We explored everything from persuasive language and balanced arguments, through to taking off and flying with descriptive imaginations of what might lay beyond where we stood, in a mysterious, fantasy landscape.

Instead of letting on that you have a learning objective, already in the appropriate box (and written in bold, so that the inspector doesn’t miss it on your planning!) it can be an effective spur to action, can’t it, if we “suddenly make the idea up, on the spur of the moment” ;-D

And, it is not about the technology. You could do what we did today about a big book, an artefact, or even a blank piece of paper.

The Pickwick Learning Teaching School Alliance, Wiltshire ~ Day 1

| April 14, 2016 | 5 Comments 

The Pickwick Learning Teaching School Alliance

Today, we explored some of the potential for imaginative, inventive and INNOVATIVE, “creative” use of technology, to bring our learning environments alive with the Pickwick Learning Teaching School Alliance at Springfields Community Centre, Corsham, with delegates from Corsham Primary School, Malmesbury Primary School, University of Gloucestershire, Sea Mills Primary School, Headley Park Primary School, Emlea Infants School, St Michael’s CE Primary School and Wallscourt Farm Academy.

Many thanks to James Passmore, Deputy Head of Corsham Primary, for coordinating our visit and sharing his thoughts here for the blog:

Corsham Primary School is a large academy primary school based in North Wiltshire, and prides itself as being a centre of excellence in the community constantly striving to improve. It has a dedicated team of leaders, teachers and support staff who work exceptionally well together, all focussed on improving outcomes for the 630 pupils at the school. Corsham Primary has a long history of working collaboratively and supporting other schools, and is proud to be the lead school in Pickwick Learning Teaching School Alliance.

Pickwick Learning is a growing alliance of 30 schools, a chain of nurseries, three universities and several businesses and charities, based across five local authority areas. It has recruited exceptional specialist leaders of education who provide school to school support services, undertakes educational research and identifies networking opportunities. Pickwick Learning offers a wide range of professional development opportunities and seized the chance to work with Tim and Sarah to showcase some of the extraordinary work they do helping to excite and engage writers across the world.

The Pickwick Learning Teaching School Alliance

Education can sometimes be a little slow in its uptake of new technologies.

Whatever format, whatever degree of complexity, there has been a slight history of initial reluctance, before, eventually, some have involved “this new stuff” in their classroom environments. Whether it is a stick and sand, wax tablets, scrolls, books, slides, film, video, computers, PowerPoint, YouTube films, and beyond, …they have all been integrated in to teaching sessions, in some way though.

All the way through, however, these new tools have often been used to modify the way a teacher presents facts, and information, to their pupils. They have had more impact on TEACHING, than on LEARNING.

In many educational settings, the relationships, and interactions, stay unchanged: A teacher, as “Sage on the Stage”, imparting their wisdom, information, and knowledge, to an unsuspecting audience sat in front of them. Are we training our children how to come to school, sit, bored, for a few hours, and get away with it without being spotted?

In the same way, challenges (or, sadly, what we more often call “Tasks”), the independent elements of a lesson, can remain, rooted to the spot, for a long time: children still wading through printed text books, step-by-step, and completing units set by teachers, in, and out of, the classroom?

How much ICT has impacted upon, and benefited this part of the education process, is still debatable.

Is there a chance that ICT can still be thought of as “When students go to the computers”, or “When they get to do some typing”.

Students might take notes in an electronic fashion. They might study, and research, through the internet, then use a word processor to write up that research. They may, even, produce a PowerPoint slideshow, and potentially email it to a teacher, before it is shown to a class.

On a basic level, very little has changed.

Chipping Norton Partnership, Oxfordshire

| April 11, 2016 | 1 Comment 

Chipping Norton Partnership

A great way to start the Summer Term: Inset for The Chipping Norton Partnership of schools at Middle Barton School. Thank you to headteacher Jane Tailby for inviting us and coordinating today’s INSET.

‘Having seen Tim present at the Headteacher’s Conference in March 2015,  are now delighted to be hosting Tim Rylands for the staff of the local Chipping Norton Partnership of schools’ INSET day on Monday 11th April.

Schools participating in this training day include: Middle Barton Primary School, Enstone Primary School, Great Tew Primary School, Great Rollright Primary School, Kingham Primary School, Hook Norton Primary School, St.Mary’s C of E Primary School, Holy Trinity Catholic Primary School and Chipping Norton School.

The school have a focus on the children enjoying their writing, having a belief, and confidence to believe they can do it, understanding that creativity is possible alongside the pressures that raising standards can put on teachers, and children. Feedback marking has its place, and benefits. We explored ways of developing enthusiasm to write, to enable that feedback to be based on real writing, for purpose, and building the desire to take off and fly.

This is a group of teachers who are up for anything. A bubbling passion can make the difference between a mundane, meandering, unfulfilling session and an incredible, meaningful learning experiences.

Writing can sometimes feel like something we inflict upon children and, whilst they do it, we go off and do something else, far more mysterious, intriguing and interesting, almost as if writing is beneath us.

It is vital to join children in whatever, essentially challenging, enjoyable task we set. Modelling can be one of the best ways of scribing. Some children don’t know what enjoying working looks like. Much in the same way that if we read a newspaper in front of a toddler we might find that they are imitating us and doing the same thing (O.K. It’s upside down but it’s the idea) it can be valuable to sit, amongst our pupils and rise to challenges ourselves.

Sculptris ~ digital sculpting

| April 6, 2016 | 0 Comments 

If you are up for something slightly more complex, then set some of your students the challenge of mastering Sculptris.

Sculptris is a free piece of software from Pixologic the makers of all-powerful Zbrush. Go play…

Ffired ~ after requests again. Thanks all. A fun couple of nights. More?

| April 2, 2016 | 0 Comments 

fFiredI used to be a potter, but I got fired!
I worked lifting heavy sieves, but I strained myself!
I used to be a butcher, but I backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in my work.
I used to be a cobbler, but was given the boot @xannov
I used to be a postman, but I got the sack @xannov
I used to be a pool attendant but I threw in the towel @lisibo
I used to work as a hot-air balloon pilot, but my job was always a bit up in the air
I used to be a runner but I couldn’t stand the pace @lisibo
I used to be an optician, but I made a spectacle of myself.
I used to work in a frozen food factory, but I got fresh and then they canned me!!
I used to be a skydiver, but I got given the push. @wigglemyears
I used to work as a werewolf impersonator, but I’m not nooooowwwww! @stevebunce
I used to work in a dairy., but they said I kept getting in the whey
I used to be an author but they wrote me off @dughall
I used to be a milliner but the cap didn’t fit @lisibo (Hats off to you for that one)
I lost my job at the massage parlor. I rubbed people the wrong way!
I was working in an orange juice factory, but I couldn’t concentrate.
My priest became a Canon but they fired him @SephieG
I tried to be a chef. I imagined it would add a little spice to my life, but I ran out of thyme
I used to be a Chippendale, but I lost my polish. @ wigglemyears
(and you couldnt speak French OR Polish)
I once was a tailor, but I wasn’t SUITED for it. It was a so-so job
I used to be a refuse collection operative but I was binned @lisibo
I used to be a plumber but it was a drain on my resources. @bevevans22
You’re career was goin down the plughole Eh?
I used to work as a rhetorical teacher, but let me answer this one…. @stevebunce
I worked at Starbucks, but it was the same old grind
tried working in an car parts factory, but that was just too exhausting.
I used to work as a tour guide, but was told to get lost (You had that one mapped out @xannov)
I used to work at Kwikfit but I’ve re-tyred. @dughall
I was a painter and decorator but they gave me the brush off. @bevevans22
(It would have been like watching paint dry)
I used to be a caterer but I was a sandwich short of a picnic @lisibo
(Did you try to butter them up?)
I used to be a coalman but I got sacked (or fired!) @dughall
I used to be a Becta Academies consultant but…oh hold on that’s not funny @kevinmulryne
I used to make frosted glass, but could see no way through it @xannov
I used to be a jigsaw maker, but couldn’t keep it together @xannov (Puzzling)
I tried to work at a deli, but no matter how I sliced it, I couldn’t cut the mustard.
I used to sell oranges, but it just wasn’t appealing. @wigglemyears
Pipped at the post for that job
I used to be a nun but then I kicked the habit. @ kevinmulryne
I even worked as a lumberjack, but I couldn’t hack it. So they gave me the axe
I used to be easily distracted, but… @stevebunce
I used to be a cashier but needed a change. I have taken NOTE of that @bevevans22
I used to be a swimming pool attendant but then I bombed @kevinmulryne
I used to impersonate Lilly Savage, but it was a drag @xannov
I used to be a ninja, but I got the chop. @wigglemyears
I used to work as a restaurant critic but I got fed up. @ dughall
I used to make trusses but I didn’t get any support. @bevevans22
(You should have boned up on that one)
I tried to work in a shoe factory, but I couldn’t fit in
I used to be a carpenter but then I got bored @ kevinmulryne
I used to work in a cushion factory but they told me to get stuffed @kevinmulryne

I was #ffired from being a pharmacist.
Apparently it’s not the same as being an agricultural labourer. @SephieG

I used to work in a petshop, until they caught me with my hand in the Trill @stevebunce
I used to make glass, but it was so shattering @chrisrat
I used to work on a bomb disposal unit but I was blown off. @Helikon
Those undertakers I used to work for as a grave-digger… Sod ’em! @dughall
I was a toothpaste tube filler once, but I got a bit too fresh @xannov
I used to be a superhero, but I was too much of a fly-boy @tombarrett
I used to make cycle helmets, but my head wasn’t in it @xannov
I was a fridge magnate once but I lost my grip and fell off @kevinmulryne
I wanted to become a doctor, but I didn’t have any patience
I used to be a tap dancer till it all went down the drain @janwebb21
I used to have self-respect but then I started wearing this t-shirt @kevinmulryne
I used to work for Microsoft, but I found Windows was a pane @stevebunce
I got a job as a historian, but there was no future in that!
I used to be a procrastinator, but…hang on, I’ll do this tomorrow @stevebunce
I then got a job at a workout club, but they said I wasn’t fit for the job.
I used to be a print journalist but I got de-pressed @electricchalk
I used to be a trapeze artist but they had to let me go. @helikon
I used to be a Geography teacher then a History teacher, but I kept changing the subject @stevebunce
I used to be a driving instructor but just ended up going round the bend @janwebb21
I used to work for Hoover. It sucked. @captincroc
I used to be a camel herder till i got the hump @janwebb21
I worked in a potato factory but ended up getting mashed @raff31
I was #ffired as a confrontational weight-loss counsellor, as I couldn’t stand the diatribe @SephieG
I worked in a fish factory but ended up battered @raff31
I tree to be a tree surgeon until I got hacked off @chrisrat
I worked in a shoe repair shop but it was a load of cobblers @raff31
I used to be a handy man but it turned out I couldn’t make it. @Helikon
I worked in a bank but ended up being bounced out @raff31
I used to be a Guardian copywriter but I got fried @simfin
I used to be an artist, but then I became with-draw-n @chrisrat
Worked at a railway station but it was just the end of the line @raff31
I used to be a botanist studying all kinds of fungi but it was just the same old slime mould @electricchalk
I used to be tractor fan, but now I’m an extractor fan @stevebunce
I thought I would have a go on twitter, before making a hasty retweet @chrisrat
I became a fisherman, but couldn’t live on my net income.
I used to to a human cannonball but I got fired…. *I’ll get me coat!* @daveterron
I used to be a deep sea diver, but couldn’t stand the pressure @xannov (Deep man)
I used to be God but I was unbelievable. @Helikon
I used to be an astronaut till I was blasted off. @janwebb21
I used to be a draughtsman but I got to the end of the line @bevevans22
I was a carpenter at a furniture manufacturer but I got #ffired for going against the grain @JeremiahAlex
I thought I was a solicitor until I read Belle de Jour’s book @SephieG
I used to be a human cannon ball but to be honest I wasn’t the right calibre @simfin
I used to be a speleologist but I’ve gone underground now. @spookingdorf
I used to be a speech therapist but it was all gobbledegook to me @janwebb21
I used to be an MP, but I flipped @stevebunce
I used to be a curtain but I couldn’t get the hang of it @yearsixteacher
Didn’t tell mum I worked for Heinz. I was embarrassed. When I got fired I spilled the beans @dan_bowen
I used to be a perfectionist, but I’m trying to improve
I thought I was a chiropractor but now I stand corrected. @SephieG
I used to work in a shoe shop but it was sole destroying
I tried looking for gold, but it didn’t pan out.
I worked for a lift company. It had its’ ups and downs. @thewhiteant
I used to be a banker, but lost interest in the work.
I used to work in Clarks but it left me down at heel @Lisibo
I used to be a baker, but I didn’t make enough dough
I worked as an opthamologist but I couldn’t see eye to eye with the boss. @NeilAdam
I used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded.
I used to look after fish but was soon out of my depth @thewhiteant
I used to work in a casino, but got offered a better deal.
I used to be an undertaker, but I was bored stiff @stevebunce
I used to be an archeologist – from the start my career was in ruins @kevinmulryne
I used to teach maths but the school couldn’t count on me. @Ideas_Factory
I used to taxidermist, but I told them to stuff it @stevebunce
I used to work as a taxidermist but one day they told me to get stuffed @dan_bowen
I used to be an astronaut but it just spaced me out @dan_bowen
I used to be a butler, but found the work wasn’t my cup of tea
I used to feed pigs but got sloppy @thewhiteant
I tried looking to be a dentist but I just could not get my teeth into it @dan_bowen
I used to work in a frozen veg processing plant. Conditions were terrible so told line manager to pea off. @SimpleKatherine
I used to run a Twitter theatre company but they said we had too many characters. @tombarrett
I used to be a public speaker, but…um… er… well… um @ellierylands
I used to be a circus clown who made dogs out of balloons but I just ran out of puff. @dan_bowen
I used to be a plumber. Now, I have something else in the pipeline.
I used to be an air traffic controller but I left it all up in the air @SephieG
I used to work as a physcologist, but enough about me, tell me about your childhood…. @stevebunce
I used to design rollercoasters but it just drove me loopy. @thewhiteant
I used to be a lollipop lady but I couldn’t lick it. @SephieG
I used to be a witch but I couldn’t spell. @lisibo
I used to work as a bikini waxer but I couldn’t pull it off @Helikon
I used to work in a helium balloon factory. It was all a bit up in the air @ellierylands
I used to be a lollipop lady but I couldn’t lick it (or make the cross over) @SephieG
I used to be a sailor…I rigger in fact…but the captain threw me overboard when I told him to get knotted @dan_bowen
I used to be a taxi-driver, but I came to a bit of a crossroads @ellierylands
I used to be a fisherman, but I got caught playing hooky. @dan_bowen
I used to work for Tetley.I had bags of energy until the last day. They just left me standing. I felt so weak after that @dan_bowen
I used to be a hotel receptionist but then I had reservations.
I tried my hand as a forecaster but I just dried up @NeilAdam
I used to be a monk, but I got expelled because of my dirty habits.
I was an accountant for 1…2…3…4…5…6…7…years @ellierylands
I used to be a schizophrenic, but we’re fine now. @stevebunce
I used to work in a casino but it was a bit too dicy when the chips were down @SephieG
I used to be a narrator, but I lost the plot @ellierylands
I used to be @timrylands but it was too hard and I was mystified @simfin
I used to arrange music but the work was too much to Handel. @grumbledook
I used to write for Eastenders but… duff duff duffdufduffduffduff
I used to be a marathon runner, but couldn’t stand the agony of de feet
I used to be a conductor on the railway. They found out I wasn’t trained.
I used to work as a chef but found it hard to cut the mustard. @SimpleKatherine
I used to be a road digger, but I got re-trenched.
I used to be a sanitation engineer, but I got dumped.
I used to do logos, displays, sides of vans etc, but I resigned. @dughall
I used to be a chimney sweep but I became Sooty @lisibo
I ran a newspaper before it folded @SephieG
I used to be a shoe salesman, till they gave me the boot.
I used to be a taxi driver, but found it a bit hackneyed.
I used to be a teacher, but found I didn’t have enough class.
I used to be a tennis instructor, but it just wasn’t my racket.
I used to to be a hunchback but I got my act straight. @Helikon
I used to be a binman but it was rubbish. @RowenaSunshine
I used to be a train driver but I got sidetracked.
I used to be a transplant surgeon, but my heart just wasn’t in it.
I used to be a regression therapist but there was no future in that. @Helikon
I used to be an exorcist, but my house was repossessed. @stevebunce
I had a papershop but it blew away. @SephieG
I used to work for a bungee jumping company but they let me go, thankfully I got my job back. @tombarrett
I used to be a bra-maker but I went bust. @RowenaSunshine
I used to be a Velcro salesman, but couldn’t stick with it. It was a rip-off.
I used to be a week planner but I called it a day. @Helikon
I used to do integral calculus, but the returns just kept getting smaller and smaller. @NeilAdam
I used to be a neurologist but I lost my nerve. @RowenaSunshine
I considered going into the ministry but I didn’t have an altar ego.
I used to be a lorry driver but I had no truck with it. @RowenaSunshine
I used to work for a well known fast food chain, but it all got too cheesy @SephieG
I tried to be a fitness instructor but it just didn’t work out. @stuartridout
I once wrote the fortunes for cookies, but then my boss opened one. My luck had run out. (1 of 2) @tombarrett
Managed to get a job writing cracker jokes, it is hard to find work involving writing on small pieces of paper concealed in things. @tombarrett
I used to work for kwikfit but it was too exhausting @simfin
I used to work at Kwik-Fit too but I was just 2 tyred… @iusher
I used to be a prophet but when they #ffired me I didn’t see it coming @Helikon
I was going to give up as a baptist to become an Anglican, but I would have missed the pasta. @NeilAdam
I had a job making EXIT signs, but that was always going to be on the way out. @ellierylands
I thought about becoming a candle maker, but it got on my wick.
I used to make hay bales but that was the last straw @ellierylands
I was a tarot-reader for a while – until I was given my cards. (in a re shuffle?) @RowenaSunshine
I wanted to be a parachutist, but I changed my mind and dropped it.
I used to be a clockmaker but there just wasn’t the time. @RowenaSunshine
I used to run my own hot air balloon business but suffered from an inflated ego so #ffired myself. (What a let down!) @SimpleKatherine
When I complained that I was #ffired as a trapeze artist they told me to “get a grip” @stuartridout
I was a cross-eyed teacher but I got #ffired because I couldn’t control my pupils. @RowenaSunshine
I used to be an organist but my heart wasn’t in it. @SimpleKatherine
I used to be an underwear model, but it was just pants. @stevebunce
I used to be a comedian but I was just a joke… @Ideas_Factory
I used to teach ceramics but I got #ffired @MDuette
I used to work at a riding school but I was told to quit horsing around. @Helikon
I did my work experience as a doctor but they let me go as I didn’t have any patients. @stuartridout
I used to be a butcher but I just didn’t cut it… @Ideas_factory
I used to be the saviour but I got too cross. @RowenaSunshine
I used to work in a clock factory when I was younger, but the times are changing @ellierylands
I once worked as a cellist before I had to bow out. @dughall
I used to be a Matt Lucas impressionist, but yeah but no but yeah but @stevebunce
I used to be a journalist, but I couldn’t keep up with the Times @ellierylands
When they #ffired me as a milkman they did it by letter. They would have told me to my face but they just didn’t have the bottle. @stuartridout
I wanted to and break into high-security data processing centers, but I couldn’t hack it.
I used to be a Matt Lucas impressionist but they #ffired me for getting my characters mixed up. Am I bovvered? @stuartridout
I used to be a mountaineer but it was an uphill struggle. @RowenaSunshine
I was a proctologist but I left as it was a bum deal @stuartridout
I used to be a cheese maker, but I didn’t do it Caerphilly. @stevebunce
I used to be a journalist till they wrote me off. @janwebb21
I used to be a shoemaker, but I was cobblers. @Ideas_Factory
I used to be a cartographer but lost my way. @thewhiteant
I got #ffired from a bakers when I asked for a raise. @Ideas_Factory
I used to be a Matt Lucas impressionist but they #ffired me for being a big baby. @stevebunce
I used to make chocolates until they found out I was into black magic @NeilAdam
I used to be called the human calculator but it just didn’t work out for me. @Ideas_Factory
I used to be a computer programmer but I was too basic. @kvnmcl
I was a distress flare on a life boat but I was let off. @Helikon
I used to be a contortionist but I wasn’t flexible enough… @Ideas_Factory
I used to play the piano, but it wasn’t my forte @ellierylands
I used to be a hairdresser till I was cut off @janwebb21
I used to work in a pillow factory but I fluffed it. @stuartridout
I used to chop firewood, i quit when my dreams went up in smoke. @ianaddison
I used to be a ballistics expert till I got #ffired @janwebb21
I used to be a gentlemen’s outfitter but the hours didn’t suit me. @RowenaSunshine
I worked for Ribena’s creativity dept until all my ideas were squash-ed @ianaddison
I used to be a violinist but it was a bit too fiddly. @RowenaSunshine
I used to be a mountaineer, but I peeked too soon. @ellierylands
I used to be a karate instructor till I got the chop @janwebb21
I used to be a margarine taster, but I can’t believe it’s not butter @stevebunce
I used to be a photographer but just couldn’t focus. @RowenaSunshine (Snappy!)
I used to be creative joke writer till I started looking at twitter and realised I was rubbish. @andyjb
I used to be a petrol pump attendant but I ran out of gas. @Ideas_Factory
I used to make calendars but my days were numbered. @stuartridout
I wanted to play my guitar in a pub but I couldn’t pluck up the courage. @novens
I used to work for Twitter but I had too much character. @stuartridout
I used to work in a vineyard but they #ffired me as I whined too much. @stuartridout
My job as a taxi – driver just wasn’t going in the right direction. @ellierylands
I used to work as a policeman in a tiny village but it was a dead beat job. @stuartridout
I used to be a butcher but there’s no bread in that @helikon
I used to be a window cleaner but they saw through me. @janwebb21
I worked in a fishmongers. I knew my plaice. What a load of cod-swallop! @icttalk
I used to work at a model village but I was too big for them. @Ideas_Factory (They scaled down).
I once worked for Google but it wasn’t what I was looking for. @RowenaSunshine
I used sell beds but I grew tired of it. I was laid off. @Ideas_Factory

I used to do something with education & tech but then this bl**dy #ffired thing turned up & my life ebbed away 140chrs at a time @iusher